


Life of a Teenage Ed

by Naatta



Category: Ed Edd n Eddy
Genre: Anal Fingering, F/M, First Time, Handcuffs, Horny Teenagers, Porn with Feelings, hot wax fetish, ice cube fetish, label maker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 07:03:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17402246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naatta/pseuds/Naatta
Summary: Each Ed has found their partner with a Kanker sister. These are three short bits, one for each Ed and their experiences with their Kanker girlfriend.Ed and May - their 1st timeEdd and Marie - learning new thingsEddy and Lee - honing specific techniques





	1. Ed and May

May Kanker was fed up! No matter what she did, she couldn’t seem to get her boyfriend, Ed to go all the way with her. She’d tried dressing sexy, “accidentally” putting her hands in naughty places when they’d sit and watch his favorite movies, even to the point of giving him a lap dance once and he just started sweating profusely and ran away. Literally, he got up and ran out the door, locking himself in his bathroom and refusing to come out until she’d left only to spot him later through the little window into his underground bedroom, beating his dick to porn in the basement. She’d tried to talk about it but he just changed the subject or acted dumb, aka his normal self, and refused to cooperate. 

Now, she’d get to the bottom of this once and for all!

She timed it perfect, as his parents were out of town and his sister, after being sufficiently bribed, was staying at a friend’s house. While he’d stepped away, into his bathroom to do his business, she’d locked the basement door as well as his bedroom one, essentially locking them in a room together. When he came out and spotted her Ed paused, blinking at her dumbly before waving at her like an idiot. “Hey May!”

“We need to talk, now Ed.” She insisted determination clear in her eyes as she stepped away from the door and stalked towards him. 

“Okay. What?” 

“I wanna know why you don’t wanna have sex with me, Ed.” The blonde girl took another step, watching the blood drain from her boyfriend’s face and his skin turn ashen with panic.

“Uh, wanna watch a movie instead? I’ll go make the popcorn!” He side stepped around her, making a b-line for the door only to find it locked, ungiving no matter how hard he tugged at it. “The, uh, door, seems to be stuck.”

“It’s not stuck, Ed. It’s locked. I locked it.”

He paused in his hasty determination of getting the door to budge and looked back at her. “You did? Why?”

She marched up to stand in front of him, bracing her hands on either side of his tall frame. “Because I’m not unlocking that door until we either go all the way or you tell me why you won’t do it with me!”

His eyes looked terrified despite clearly having a size advantage, being over a foot taller than her after all. Looking around, like an animal trying to find a way out he began to “uh” and “um” like he was trying to figure out a way to get free. “I…I can’t tell you…”

“Why not? What’s wrong?” She prodded, pushing up against him. “I know Double-D and Eddy both have popped their cherries, why are you holding out.”

When he didn’t answer May hesitated, halting in her assault of him. “I-is it me? Is there something wrong with me? You don’t want me?”

“What?! No! No, that’s not it!” He held up his hands and started to “uh” and “um” again, like he was trying to figure out what to say next, which just confirmed her suspicions that he was lying. 

“You know what? Fine!” With her Kanker strength she shoved the big lug out of the way and grabbed the key out of her pocket, trying, and missing, several times to unlock the door despite her eyes welling up with tears. “I guess I’m just not the girl for you. All this time I liked you and thought you liked me and it turned out I’m not what turns you on. I’ll just go and leave you to your porn or whatever.”

Finally the key hit home and she got the damn thing unlocked, getting the door pulled open a fraction before a heavy weight slammed it shut, a palm pressing hard into the wood.

The room was suddenly filled with silence save for bits of hiccupped cries and heavy breathing behind her, making the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. “May…”

That goofy tenor had turned into a deep base as she slowly turned around, seeing him looming over her like a big heap of a man he actually was. His eyes were downcast at the moment while she wiped the dripping tears from her face and onto the back of her short shorts. When they came up to look at her May’s breath caught in her throat; he didn’t look like the same man, he wasn’t her big goofy Ed anymore. 

In a single move he tipped her chin up to him and kissed her, hard and wanting, demanding her full attention despite the surprise of being swooped in on. She barely had time to react when he lifted her up like she weighed nothing, arms around her, cupping her ass before turning around and all but throwing her back on the bed. 

The blonde bounced up the bed a space, nearly banging her head on the wall behind her before he was above her, pinning her down with both hands and eyes to kiss her more, so much more she couldn’t seem to think straight. Every time she tried to speak, even his name something would cover it, either his mouth or his large hand until she finally put two and two together that he wanted her silent.

For a guy with large hands he had surprisingly nimble fingers’, getting her top unbuttoned in a matter of seconds and was already working his way through the front clasps of her bra with one hand while the other was undoing the button and zipper of her shorts. In just a few minutes he had her undressed and spread legged under him despite him only losing a shirt, at that as because of her incessant tugging at it. 

It wasn’t until he unbuckled his belt and pulled himself free of his pants that May looked down and figured out why he’d been avoiding this. “Good God, you’re huge!”

Ed’s square head turned the color of a tomato, not looking her in the eye. He started to pull away, sitting back on his heels, leaving her almost chilled and alone on her little part of the bed. “I didn’t want to hurt you…”

Slowly May sat up and leaned forward, putting a warm palm on his cooled shoulder. “Ed, it’s okay. I get it now. But you know I had a suspicion about it. You are a big guy after all.”

Taking his face in her hand she turned him to face her, kissing him softly, enough to soften the edges of his defenses before pulling him back down with her. When she seemed to finally get his feathers unruffled she reached into the back pocket of her discarded shorts and pulled out a little foil square, the label on it reading, “XL size”. “See, I told you I had a hunch.”

With a smile he took it from her and set to work getting the slip of latex situated before getting into position. Excitement had already helped partially with prep but warm, large fingers helped even more, pushing her over the edge with an ease even she was surprised he had. 

To say it hurt was an understatement; by the time he hit bottom she was wrapped around him like a whimpering child, and to his credit, he didn’t move until she said he could. Their movements were slow, stiff, and foreign, Ed trying not to hurt her with his sheer blatant size and May trying to not show it hurt. After a while it went from pain to pleasure, that nausea in the pit of her stomach from taking something so big slipping free until all she could do was chant his name over and over again like a mantra while she gripped at him til finally everything went white like a flash behind her eyes. She came down from the high and the nausea returned, making him stop until it passed despite him still being rock hard between her legs. When it passed he started again, going and going until he too got his release and they were left a sweaty, puddle of arms and legs in the middle of his unmade bed. After a brief hydration break and a mild surprise of a whole box of condoms (Ed was more prepared than May originally thought) hey got the hang of it and by the end of the night, and about 3 or 4 condoms later everything was a lot easier. 

May noticed something else too. The more they went for it, the more demanding her boyfriend came. It finally came full circle when he had her on her hands and knees and he gripped at her pony tail, rutting her like a bitch in heat until he came, slapping her on the ass in victory. They both suddenly froze, May looking over her shoulder at him in surprise and him blushing from ear to ear. “I’m so sorry May! I don’t kn…”

“Do it again.” She told him, blushing despite a little grin on her face. “I liked it.”

Without hesitation he slapped her other ass cheek, a little less hard than before. Then again when she fussed at him for backing off, harder that time; starting a whole new ball rolling between them. 

What a nice way to spend a weekend alone, eh?


	2. Edd and Marie

“Marie, are the handcuffs really necessary?” Double-D asked, eyeing his girlfriend as she maneuvered around his bedroom, his hands cuffed together on the bed frame above his head. 

The tall, blue-haired teen just gave him a sly smile, an unlit candle in her hand. “Relax, cutie pie, they’re just a precaution is all.”

“A precaution for what exactly?” He asked, looking up at the metal cuffs around each of his wrists, tugging them against his headboard. “The metal is starting to chafe.”

Lighting the candle and putting it on the nightstand she looked at him before pulling her black tank top over her head, revealing a lacey black bra underneath. Her smile widened as she watched the young man’s pupils dilate and his adams apple bob when he cleared his throat, squirming nervously as she crawled up the bed towards him. “How ‘bout next time I get you some pink fuzzy ones so they don’t hurt, eh? Or maybe I should get a double pair so I can get you all spread out?”

Edd’s face turned a dark shade of crimson, spreading over his ears and down his next. “Marie, I know you’re into that kinky stuff but I’m just not that into it…”

“Yet.” She interrupted, softly putting her hand on his chest, all but giggling as she straddled his lap. “But don’t worry…I’ll get you there. It’s a guarantee.”

“Marie I seriously mnph!” The bluenette cut him off with a kiss, rubbing her body against his own and watching as his eyes closed, the words fading from his lips until they were gone.

As they kissed she pushed her tongue into his mouth, keeping his thoughts elsewhere while one hand calmly held the back of his head, teasingly pulling on the base of his hat while her other snaked down his front to grab at the growing bulge between his legs. At a playful squeeze his eyes shot open and he tried to pull away but she kept him there with a bite to his lower lip, hard enough to let him know she meant business.

When he stilled Marie pulled her boyfriends shirt up his front with a slow and steady tug until it was all the way over his head and tucked around the cuffs, even taking an extra second to push it around the metal a bit to make him more comfortable. “Better?”

He made a huff, those dark eyes narrowing a bit at her teasing tone. “I’d rather you just uncuff me as we do this the regular way.”

Clicking her tongue she wiggled a finger in his face. “Tsk, tsk, not this time. Now shut up or I’ll shove your hat in your mouth and MAKE you shut up, alright?”

With a sigh of defeat he pouted. “Fine.”

Hastily she gripped his chin and tipped it up to look at him. “No, no. That’s not how this game is played cutie-pie. From now on, you answer with a ‘Yes, Mistress’ or I’ll have to punish you.”

“Marie, I’m not gonna AH!” The teen yelped as his girlfriend slapped her palm against his stomach hard. 

“Mistress, Edd.” She warned with a stern look, the edges of her lips pointed down in a frown. “Don’t make me repeat myself. Now be a good boy and do as you’re told, please?”

He opened his mouth to protest but stilted at the look in her eyes. They’d been dating for nearly a year now; after being terrorized by her and her sisters he’d finally given in to her stubborn pursuit and found Marie was not nearly as hard and prickly as he’d originally thought. She was surprisingly tidy and astute to his OCD tendencies, letting him tutor her in math and science where she seemed to struggle the most while she had helped him get over his stage fright when he’d had decided to join the debate club. They’d found a common fondness for poetry, ironically enough giving each other the same book of poetry for last valentine’s day before finally consummating their relationship on the floor of her bedroom. It’d been a few months later however when she came out that she had a few fetishes she’d always wanted to try; and while he HAD agreed to give it a try, especially after she’d sucked his dick in the empty science lab during study hall, he hadn’t expected her to be THIS into it.

With a soft sigh his narrow shoulders relaxed, sucking in a bit of air between the gap in his front teeth. “Yes…Mistress.”

The smile that spread over her face was worth it. At least for right now.

Biting her lower lip she grinned, squirming on his lap a little when she pulled a strap of cloth from her pocket. “Good boy. Now, how about a blindfold?”

“What?! Marie that’s too far!” He started to squirm, severely agitated. 

“Relax, I was just teasing.” She chuckled, tweaking his nose. “And remember, MISTRESS.”

He was still complaining about it as she reached over to the nightstand towards a candle she’d lit earlier. There were several about the room, giving everything a soft glow, especially her face as she pulled it close. “Now it’s time for some fun.”

Delicately she tipped the candle so drop of melted wax landed square middle of his chest making him buck in painful surprise. “Yeow! That’s hot! How’s this supposed to be erotic?!”

“Because then I get to do this…” She leaned down and blew over the area, cooling it with her breath before leaning down to kiss the solidifying wax and imprinting it with her lips. The mix of sparking heat followed by the cool breath sent goosebumps racing across his skin up and down his arms, legs, and strangely enough to his crotch.

With a soft warning to be still the blue-haired girl angled a couple more well placed drops in a meandering trail down his stomach, pausing after each one to blow on it before kissing it, marking each one with her lips like a stamp of a seal on his skin. She kept going until she reached his belly button, pulling the waistband down of his shorts just enough to let her final drop land perfectly over that space between his belly button and cock. The spice of heat sent a shudder up and down his spine as she sealed him again with her lips before putting the candle away, back on the nightstand, now reaching for something in a bowl he couldn’t see the contents of from lowered position on the bed. 

“Now, would you like me to get that pesky wax off your skin cutie-pie?” She asked a hint of tease in her voice.

“Yea…uh, I’m mean, yes Mistress.” He answered, watching her smile widen when he played along and answered correctly. 

His reward was a soft kiss before a sting of ice cold pressed into his skin. “What the…?”

Looking down he spotted an ice cube in her hand, a little giggle echoing in his ears as she pressed it to his skin and pushed it around, rubbing on each spot of wax to harden it enough to peel off. As each spot came off she kissed the red skin underneath, swirling her tongue around it to ease what pain may be left to the scalded skin. She followed the same pattern as before, starting at the top and working her way down but this time she actually started to unbuckled his shorts and pull them down to get them out of the way of that finally dot of wax below his navel. 

The wax peeled like the rest which Marie put with the rest of them back with the candle and shimmied down his person, pressing her lips to that angry reddened dot while her hands pulled his tightie whities down with his shorts around his knees. What was there sprang up at full attention which she wrapped her hand around, keeping the melting cube pressed against the hot skin, making him yelp in surprise. 

Edd looked down his skinny frame to watch her down there, her mouth ever so close but so ungodly far from where he wished it was, her chin occasionally bumping his base while those icy fingers stroked him up and down to warm themselves with is natural heat. A moan escaped his lips as he watched her, the sound making her look up and wink playfully at him.

Licking her way back up she paused to tease is nipples, nipping at them with her teeth before pulling away. “Seems you are enjoying yourself despite all the earlier protesting.”

“I’ll admit you seem to be rather talented in this field of expertise. Are you sure you’ve never actually don’t this before?” He asked curiously, nose to nose with her, but every time he leaned in for a kiss she pulled back, teasing him.

“Not on someone else, no.” She kissed the tip of his nose. “Now what should I do next? It’d be a shame to let that pretty erection of yours go to waste don’t you think?”

“Y-yes Mistress.” He agreed, nodding with flushed cheeks.

Tapping the tip of her finger to her lips she made effort to look like she was thinking about something, although he knew perfectly well she’d already planned this whole night out to the finest detail; she always did as far as he was concerned. Giving him a sly look she reached back and started to stroke him again, doing her best to keep him hard. “How about we try something we haven’t tried yet?”

Slipping off him she hastily shimmied out of her clothes, saving her bra for last before climbing up and over him once more, pausing only to shift her weight so she ground against him, the feeling so good his eyes crossed and he bucked up to meet her.

“What do you think, Double-D? Should I ride you like a pony?” she teased, grinding against him in a slow and steady rhythm. Her answer was a moan and some sort of garbled speech. “Come on now, be a good boy and tell me what you want.”

Gritting his teeth Edd tugged his wrist against the handcuffs, the wood they were wrapped around groaning a bit. “Yes, ride me. Ride me Mistress…”

The words came out in a soft hiss than made her smile. Her Edd had a tendency to get real quiet when he asked her for something, especially something sexual. She could remember him so embarrassed he was all but whispering when he’d first kissed her much less wanted to touch her in just about any romantic style. 

Without a word she sat up, shifting him around so as her hips lowered back down he slid in without a breath of hesitation. They moaned in tandem before she began to rock and bounce her hips, bracing her knees against the mattress of his bed. He squirmed under her, moaning her name as his hands tugged against the headboard, a silent beg to be released. When his eyes started to close she smacked his side, demanding he opened them again and watch her as she rode his hips. 

Despite how deep she sank on him though she couldn’t seem to get the angle just the way she wanted and kept shifting, frustrating them both. Looking up at his hot and heavy girlfriend he started to pull the shirt around his wrist, using it as leverage to try to slip his hand free of the cuffs. His left hand came loose with a soft clink and in an instant the young man was sat up, wrapping his around her waist. 

His getting free must not have been in the plan as her eyes grew wide with surprise when they were suddenly flush front to front. “Edd! What are you…!”

He cut her off with a kiss, much like she’d done earlier, letting his fingers and palms rub over her back and shoulder blades, his own hips rocking against her own, sending him deeper within. She pulled away with a gasp, gripping at his shoulders to try to push him back down onto the bed. “Damn it Double-D you’re ruining the whole th…”

“Shut up Marie.” He snapped, holding her gaze as the look in his eyes made her pause. Edd never talked to her like that. With a surge he bucked against her, nuzzling into her neck to suction a perfectly placed hickey on her pulse, a gasp slipping from her lips while her own fingers pressed into his skin, nail digging in little red stripes.

They moved like that for a time, moving together until at last he removed his lips from her neck only to lower them to her chest while the metal cuff still around one wrist thunked against her lower back in time with their movements. Sounds of their intercourse filled the room while the candles flickered about on various surfaces, her orgasm hitting only a split second before his own.

“We forgot a condom.” Marie mused against his ear, pulling his face to her own to tangle their tongues once again.

She could feel a rumble of laughter vibrate his chest against her belly. “Fuck the condom, I’ll risk it.”

His explicative made her laugh as well, holding his face to make him look up at her. “You’ve been hanging around Eddy too much again.”

With a secure hold around her Edd laid them back, rolling them over so he was on top, stroking one long piece of her leg as it wrapped around his waist, smiling as her fingers traced around the red welts on his chest and stomach. “Well the statistics ARE in our favor. Do I need to do the math for you?”

“No, I trust you. But if you keep moving like that we’re gonna heavily alter those odds with a second round.” She teased as he leaned down to kiss her again. He’d found that kissing really was rather enjoyable compared to how terrifying it’d seemed all those years ago.

“Well before that happens, I need to do something, hang on a second.” He suddenly pulled out and away, hastily shuffling off to the other side of the room and grabbing something off the shelf. He stood there, naked with her back to her as he fidgeted with something in his hands before putting it back and returning to her side on the bed. In his hands was a small strip of white with black letters embossed on it. 

Before she could ask what he was doing he peeled the back off the strip and stuck it square in the middle of her chest. A label with the word “MISTRESS” printed square on her person, a grin wide enough to show his gapped teeth appearing on his face. “That way I won’t keep forgetting.”

Marie looked down at the label before that familiar smirk sparked across her face, pulling him down on top of her by a yank of the arm. “Come here, cutie-pie! Mistress has a few more things she wants to do to you!”

A flame went out on the other side of the room. “Yes Mistress.”


	3. Eddy and Lee

“Watching porn again?” A familiar female voice made him jump in his seat on the bed, glaring at the red-headed woman as she crawled into the bed next to him.

“Don’t you ever knock?” He snapped at her, pulling the headphone off his ear and pausing the video. “And here I was having a good time too.”

Looking down at the pitched tent in his pant she grinned. “I can tell. You want me to take care of that?”

“Nah, I go it.” He shrugged her off, closing the laptop and putting it down in its slot on the night stand. “I’ll just take a cold shower or something.”

Lee tucked a curl of red hair out of the way of her eyes and glared at him. “Hey, what the hell? You never turn down a blow job. You sick or something?”

“I’m just not in the mood alright? Jeez…” He snapped back.

Huffing she sank lower on the bed. “Yeah, well, it’s not like you do it for me anyways.”

That got his attention. “What did you say?”

“I said your prick’s too small to get the job done. Just like you, too short to amount to anything!” She snapped, sitting up and jabbing a finger at him. 

“You weren’t complaining the other day about it!” He volleyed back, turning back around from where he stood in the bathroom doorway. “And I’ve grown nearly as tall as my brother since we started high school!”

“Yeah, well, you’re pecker sure hasn’t caught up with the rest of you.” She gave him a sideways glance. “You can barely get the motor running with that little thing.”

There was a long pause before he started to shuck off clothing. “Get naked. Right now.”

With a soft grin she turned away from him and started to remove the red and white dress she’d been wearing. She managed to get all her items in a pile before he scooped her up and all but threw her on the bed. 

“Well this is a little new. I should get you riled up more often!” She cheesed at him from where she sat watching him.

Eddy however didn’t get on the bed, instead, grabbed each of her ankles and pulled her to the edge of the bed, eyes narrowed in irritation. “Just shut up and lay down.”

Rolling her eyes she did, humoring him by doing what she was told. He let her part her legs with practiced ease before disappeared between them, only the top of his head and hair visible as she looked down her body at him. She could feel fingers rubbing circles on her inner thighs and spreading her folds apart as his mouth found her center, her breath hitching in her throat as he did so.

As much as her boyfriend might hate to admit it, he really did have a small cock. Not tiny, like she liked to tease him about it, but small. But what he lacked in length he equaled out in stamina and creativity. How he got so good at using his fingers and mouth she still wasn’t quite sure as she’d been his first and his ever since, it was a natural talent to even out his gifts. 

Lee squirmed, gripping at the sheets on either side of her head, rocking her hips to meet his mouth. She could see those beady little eyes of his pop up for a breath to look at her, the edges of his lips smiling against her skin before he dove in for another swim in her wetness. She mewled and arched, finally losing her grip on the fabric in opt to grab the back of his head and push it forward, wanting that teasing tongue to go deeper from where it already had her so close to the edge. He didn’t let her down, deepening his love making between her legs until she came, crying out as she all but bucked off the bed.

Pulling free from those long expanses she called legs Eddy smiled, standing over her limp limbs before hooking a hand under her knee and flipping her over onto her belly, pulling her back enough for her feet to brace on the carpet. Practiced fingers slipped in with liquid ease, teasing her insides as well at that little bundle of nerves women always favor while his other hand slipped a condom out from his discarded pants pocket, slipping it on his length, stroking himself lightly. “Still think I’m no good in bed?”

Looking back at him Lee glared through her sweat-damp curls. “Shut up and fuck me with that little prick, you little prick!”

Pushing another finger in she moaned, rubbing her face against the sheets that smelled like him. “Well if I have such a little prick I guess it doesn’t matter what hole I put it in, does it?”

“Eddy, we talked about thi…ah!” Lee gasped and bared down as juicy fingers prodded at her back door, one in particular pushing in to the first knuckle making her grit her teeth. 

“I told you if you relax your muscles and bare down like you’re taking a shit this works easier.” He told her matter-of-factly, still stroking himself with this other hand.

“Still hurts bastard!” she said through gritted teeth, hissing. “Just fuck me like normal, God dammit!”

“Fine,” he snapped, all but shoving his cock deep inside her with one go, making her grunt. “But I’m keeping the finger in the other hole.”

The little weasel of a teen didn’t give her time to answer, already moving his hips hard enough to drive her knees into the edge of the mattress. They moved together, grunting and bucking like a pair of wild animals. That little finger prodded deeper, mixing around the pleasure she was feeling like when you mix vanilla and chocolate ice cream together, taking a while to make a cohesive feeling. His other hand slipped around her hip to her front, teasing her clit until it took everything she had just to keep upright. When he finally stilled she clamped down around him, their thighs equally as messy from a job well done. 

Pulling away a step or two Eddy took care of the condom while his girlfriend slipped up onto the bed, rolling onto her back and laying there, contented but messy, shifting to her side as he washed up and left the bathroom where he’d dropped off the spent condom and packaging. “It’s so much fun to get you mad. You give the best sex when you’re angry with me.”

“Why do you think I told you I didn’t want sex?” He grinned, leaning against the bathroom doorway, looking over those long legs he couldn’t get enough of. “Nothing pissed you off more than being told ‘no’.”

She grinned right back at him, “little prick.”

“Right back at ‘cha hot stuff.” He chuckled, turning off the bathroom light and heading back to bed.


End file.
